


Punishing the Naughty Simian

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Series: Merry Month of Masturbation (MMOM) 2017 [15]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Euphemisms, Gen, Humor, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 01:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10911942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: Drax still doesn't understand the need for euphemisms.





	Punishing the Naughty Simian

"Peter Quill, you are a guardian of the galaxy!"

"What?" Peter looked askance at Drax. "Yes. We're all guardians of the galaxy."

"Then why would you be so cruel to an innocent creature?"

Peter blinked. "What did I do now?"

"Rocket informed me you were spanking a monkey. Was it a badly behaved simian to deserve such mistreatment?"

Peter shook his head. "No! I was not spanking a monkey! There was no monkey!"

"Then why did Rocket say there was?"

"Because he was making a joke!"

"I do not understand."

"He was saying I was," and Peter lowered his voice a little, "masturbating."

Drax frowned. "Why did he not just say that?"

"It's a euphemism. It makes things less embarrassing to talk about."

"And more confusing."

Peter sighed. "I guess so. And I wasn't by the way. Anyway it's nobody's business if I want to feed the ducks."

He realised his mistake a second too late.

"You should feed the ducks if you wish!"

"No! No monkeys, no ducks!"

Another frown. "Just masturbating?"

"Yes! And no! But sometimes yes!"

Drax gave him a look of suspicion. "You should just say that you were rubbing your penis because it gives you pleasure."

"Sure," Peter said and walked away.


End file.
